Life is unfair

Most of us grew up complaining at least once that life is unfair. Or maybe once is too absurd, we all do complain about it a lot of times throughout our lives.

I found a quote in an article that says, “Unless you’re winning, most of life will seem outrageously unfair to you.”

We complain life is unfair because our parents forced us to bed at 9pm.

“Life isn’t fair because the classmate across the room scored better grades than I do when I studied harder than he is.”

“I hate life because that ugly guy who lives down the road is dating the most beautiful girl in town.”

“It is not fair that the nerdy guy got promoted as Manager.”

“I worked so hard, why couldn’t I become rich? Life is unfair!”

Sounds familiar? But we will never stop complaining that life is unfair so long as we judge ourselves by our thoughts.

Our subconscious minds tend to have positive thoughts towards ourselves. “I have worked hard”. “I am good looking”. “I’m friendly”.  Unfortunately, this is not what the world sees us nor is it any form of optimism. It could be a self-deception by our own minds trying to calm ourselves to sleep every night. It seems like we have done to our best ability for ourselves and if anything goes wrong, it is the fault of others.

Lately, a friend who is aspiring to build a business came asking for ideas to source for investors and funding opportunities. I suggested the government as there are different forms of business grants and loans depending on the type of businesses.

Immediately without even asking me what sort of assistance there was, he doubted my suggestion of ‘government assistance’. And he goes complaining that the government is unfair. The government only helps the Malays. Only the Bumiputras will get the approval for business loans and grants. The applications of non-Malays are sure to be rejected by the government. Life is unfair, as he said.

At that moment, I only asked him two questions: Have you applied for any government grants or loans? How many non-Malays that you know that have applied for the grants and loans have been rejected?

He replied no for both answers.

The problem with my friend here is that he has a very negative perception towards the Government. Whether the Government is unfair or not is another matter. Before he even tried to apply for any assistance from the Government, his perception had already blocked his action and therefore, blamed them for being unfair.

In another matter, which happened last week during the heat of the debate at the UMNO General Assembly. Many said that it is a season of ‘Malay agenda’ where the UMNO delegates will usually raise issues to protect the interest and rights of the Malays.

One of the highlights that caused an uproar to the public, especially the netizens, is the debate statement made by UMNO Permatang Pauh Division Chairman, which claims that the Chinese in Penang are rich due to illegal economic activities.

Various comments and criticisms were made over that specific UMNO delegate. Yes, I do agree with the public that it is a ridiculous remark. Such statements made by any leader, be it from the top leadership or even grassroots leaders, should not even be thought of. These baseless accusations are definitely unacceptable.

But that is all that they have heard from the UMNO members. Have the people heard that there are also moderate UMNO delegates that fought for the preservation of vernacular schools? Have they known that they have even debated that the Malays should also learn a third language which is either Mandarin or Tamil?

Now, wouldn’t that be unfair for UMNO instead?

I am not trying to defend UMNO. If there is any wrongdoings that UMNO has caused, I urge that the voters must punish them by denying votes from them. Furthermore, those hurtful remarks made by insensitive delegates are just debating points and will not be taken into action unless the top leadership do so, which in this case they did not.

But let us think twice, when we think that people or life has been unfair towards us, is the outside force really unfair to us or is our mind that has been choosing to be unfair towards ourselves?

Sometimes it is our thoughts that are unfair to ourselves. We choose to just look at only one side of the coin. Probably it is time for us to open our minds and redefine our perspectives.